Today, for the first time ever on this journey, I made the commitment to say the Shmonei Esrei after I dropped the girls off at school. I said it in English this time because my Hebrew is rusty and I had an appointment to get to.
I said the whole thing. Did the bowing and the knee bending and the chest thumping. And as I got further and further into the prayer this incredible sense of peace came over me. The words started to feel like they were coming from my heart and my soul, and not just my mouth.
My understanding is that after you pray, you are supposed to kiss your book before returning it to where you keep it. So I did. Without thinking. Because it seemed right to do.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I must have missed that class
Apparently, when you become more religious, you suddenly know ALL the prayers for all the holidays all the time. At least that is the attitude I encountered this past Hanukah by none other than my own sister.
We were at my parents and lighting the menorah. We said the prayer over the candles and then my sister said "isn't there another prayer?" I kept quiet because yes, there is, but I couldn't remember it. She then turned to me and said "you're religious now. What's the other prayer?"
I must have missed the class in which every supplemental prayer would have been downloaded directly into my brain, cross referenced by holiday and transliterated for those who hadn't had Hebrew v1.0 installed yet.
It's frustrating that my own family would take that attitude towards my journey. To be fair, I grew up Reform. Maybe even Ultra-Reform. We attended shul for Erev Rosh Hashanah, the first day, Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur and any bnai mitzvot that interfered with our regular weekend activities. That was it. We didn't keep kosher, drove on Shabbos, I attended Jew Jail (aka Hebrew School) two nights a week and my sister and I both attended Sunday Jew Jail (aka Religious School). I had a Bat Mitzvah. And that pretty much ended my Jewish growth until recently (as referenced at the start of this blog).
So my family not quite being on board with my personal journey is not really surprising. But the cutting comments are getting to be a bit much.
Any suggestions on how to counter such comments? The only thing I could come up with in answer to my sister's comment was "you don't automatically learn all the prayers. I can't remember the second one."
We were at my parents and lighting the menorah. We said the prayer over the candles and then my sister said "isn't there another prayer?" I kept quiet because yes, there is, but I couldn't remember it. She then turned to me and said "you're religious now. What's the other prayer?"
I must have missed the class in which every supplemental prayer would have been downloaded directly into my brain, cross referenced by holiday and transliterated for those who hadn't had Hebrew v1.0 installed yet.
It's frustrating that my own family would take that attitude towards my journey. To be fair, I grew up Reform. Maybe even Ultra-Reform. We attended shul for Erev Rosh Hashanah, the first day, Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur and any bnai mitzvot that interfered with our regular weekend activities. That was it. We didn't keep kosher, drove on Shabbos, I attended Jew Jail (aka Hebrew School) two nights a week and my sister and I both attended Sunday Jew Jail (aka Religious School). I had a Bat Mitzvah. And that pretty much ended my Jewish growth until recently (as referenced at the start of this blog).
So my family not quite being on board with my personal journey is not really surprising. But the cutting comments are getting to be a bit much.
Any suggestions on how to counter such comments? The only thing I could come up with in answer to my sister's comment was "you don't automatically learn all the prayers. I can't remember the second one."
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